Visions and Glimpses

1.6.10

(looks at title) is it ironic this whole page seems to be about Gian and my banner is so self orietned? (thinks) No, because if I didn't love myself, no one else could. And that is what matters: I can let another close.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Love.
Pizza at the ever-so-hipster Classic Slice
was lovely, delicious
kiss
sat in house
at the table like a real couple that lives
together.

sat in the nice weather back yard
you with guitar
me with Sonja, a bass guitar.
peak peace moments of my life,
time soo slow and good
I'm not good at the instrument but it still makes me happy to play with you

31.5.10

7 layer taco salad

order of ingredients from bottom to top:

refried beans
sour cream mixed with taco spice (the meat seasoning stuff) mix it in the sour cream container 1st
shredded cheese (we used cheddar and against my judgment it was good)
guacamole
chopped tomatoes, black olives, and chopped green onions

It was way more delicious than that really popular taco dip with cream cheese, if you've ever had that. If that's like a 6/10 this is a 10.

My favorite chips are Mission chips because they're sooo cheap and taste more home made

I'm scared

Do not make someone your anchor. Sharing love with someone should be auxiliary. It's completely unhealthy to make someone the reason you get up in the morning, unless they are your offspring.
Sharing love with another should just be the icing on the cake, and if you honestly don't have cake you need to remember your art, your past, your family, and your other random uh, er, 'blessings' I guess.

I just can't be anyone's anchor
Because I can't stay.
It's putting too much responsibility on me that I can't handle, no one should have to handle being someone's anchor.

I will always be there for the people I care about. I always want to help people, but saying that was really unhealthy. Someday, I am moving far away. What then? You gonna off yourself? Is that your answer? Or how about when I am gone spreading your happiness to other people, show your friends how much you care for them. Better yourself, make art, do something.

I am leaving you. Not emotionally, but Eau Claire is in August. What then? Be smart. I'm not a good anchor. I am going to make you very happy while I'm here but I'm not the only thing or person capable of that.

30.5.10

From what I know about myself (which isn't necessarily true)

Ok, you read the title, riiight?

I feel like I am both always happy and very pessimistic.
If you know me, give me your opinion. I value it.
If you don't know me, perhaps tell me if you think it's possible.

~

Shout out to my new follower,
sometimes I feel like this blog is super desolate. Thank you. I'll def read yours. I appreciate your attention!(:

Shout out to my seasoned followers:
POST MORE ON YOUR BLOGS
I'm thirsty for a drink of your insights, whispers, philosophies, complications, feelings, research,
hell I'm begging so even a drink of a funny picture I don't get would satisfy me
<3

Double Fudge Fluffy Frosted Flower Cake

Double Fudge Cake, enough for 2 9" pans

2c flour
1tsp baking soda
dash of salt
3/4 c butter (and it says 'or lard' lol)
1 1/3 c sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/4 c scalded whole milk
1 sm package choc chips
1/2 walnuts

Mix flour, baking soda, & salt
Cream the sugar and butter until fluffy, add vanilla
Bear in thoroughly 1 egg yolk at a time until smooth
Pour 1/3 pkg of chips into scalded milk, stir until dissolved
Add to creamed mixture then ass remaining chips & nuts
Fold in stiffly beaten egg whites, turn into greased pan *
Bake 350 1/2 hour

Fluffy Frosting

5 tbsp flour
1 c whole milk

Med. heat: stir constantly until thick, let cool
Mix:

1/2 c butter
1/2 c shortening
1 c sugar
2 tsp vanilla

then blend both together

The first circle is the petals, the 5" circle is the center. "C" is the stem, the two fit together as shown:

B are the leaves as well as D

Enjoy (;

it's my honor to post for my blog this video.

27.5.10

I'm lucky I'm in love (happiness)
Because SO MUCH is pissing me off lately.
actually just 2 things
FUCKING PARENTS AND SCHOOL.
To mad to write about it
IM FUCKING DONE.

26.5.10

25.5.10

tbe ii

dates I want to go on
(wow i'm really not great)
art museum
wedding
shopping
lake shore park
madison
chicago
six flags

tbe

restaurants to visit:

Hectors

El Fuego (already went, want to go with Gian)

Riptide

East Garden

Oakland Gyros (Greek) UPDATE: Best Gyros and good authentic Greek food! Giant portions

Conejitos (already went, want to go with Gian) UPDATE: Met family here w/ Gian and tried mixed meat tacos which were deeelish

Classic Slice UPDATE- fave pizza ever

Lulu UPDATE- really unique sandwiches, very worldly. ate at a giant open window which was perfecto. Very good sweet chai!!

Demarinis

Nessun Dorma

Tenutas

Honeypie

Beans and Barley

Charro

these are very very delicious

are you relieved that they know now?

no, i didn't care that i was lying. i didn't care they didn't know. i had told myself i'd tell them eventually. there's a contrast. i am very angry how they found out (malicious intention) but i am very happy i didn't have to be the one to tell them. i'm not going to tell the story of how my parents found out about gian, because i think i will remember it. it's a pretty entertaining story perhaps.

24.5.10

that makes me happy = "das macht mich glucklich"

22.5.10

FWD: Well on days I don't work I'd drive you to gbh. You'd get to watch rehearsals. I'd stay in as much as possible. We'd cook together. I'd take you to fam din

17.5.10

It's called Visions and Glimpses so you can look into the normal life I lead. I feel like my life isn't normal, like I am unique. Really to you though, I am not. It's weird that way. You probably think you are unique too. Do you ever try to separate your thoughts from you culture? Everything you do every day seems normal, but try thinking "I have never seen, smelled, or tasted ketchup." and ketchup becomes strange and pretty gross.

8.5.10

I really reccomend the book The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

LeClair carries, in his helmet, some sentimental things. In his helmet is his grandfather's zippo lighter from when he was in the Airforce. Along with the zippo is a picture of LeClair's nephews, a piece of a bullet, and a phone number. The fragmented metal which was once part of a bullet is part of the bullet that almost killed LeClair. It also earned him his Purple Heart-- he took that bullet for his comrade, Shrum. The phone number, well it's my phone number. He lost it twice or more, so now it's in a safe place.

I carry pretty superficial things with me, my phone is almost always right in my hand, honestly there are usually two pairs of sunglasses in my purse or car. But in my phone are a few very sentimental text messages. They are from LeClair. I've kept the messages of what he carries, one wishing me a better day, and one wishing me luck on my musical. LeClair carries sentimental things in his helmet, which is fitting. He also has to carry about fifty pounds of all the other stuff a Ranger needs in the desert or wherever they send him. Even though he has so much on his back, he still wishes me a better tomorrow.

"I have my grandfathers zippo from when he was in the Airforce, a picture of my nephews, a picture of me with my dad after i tabbed out
i have a piece of the bullet fragment that almost killed me in there too
haha i even wrote your number in there so i wont lose it again"

5.5.10

I told another story today about a sensitive lemon, a deer, steve, gabe, dylan thomas, a fruit fly, and a street car named desire.

Ms. Penglase,
Thank you so much for the postcard! It finally arrived at its destination a week later than the date on top, wow, Milwaukee is further than I remember..
A giant "ditto" to the great two years we've been teacher and student together. It's hard to say whether I took the class because I liked what I was exposed to in junior English or if it was because you're a great teacher. I just remember my freshman year English teacher who just wrote "Good job" on all of our Romeo and Juliet papers, and once told me "you sound more like you're writing for a trashy celebrity tabloid" (luckily she was not a permanent fixture in the department). What I will remember most about Lit (well ok there's still some left) is actually learning for sure what feminism is. I always have had a backbone and resented my mother's selfless embrace of the housewife mentality and lifestyle, but I never had been knowingly exposed to feminist literature or ideas. So thank you again for the postcard but more importantly for everything that I will remember from English.
Sincerely,
Em

4.5.10

The Raspberry Who Couldn't Giggle and the Sensitive Deer

emily
Once upon a time

there was a little raspberry

she was chillin' on the vine thing, bush.

gian
who was dipped in chocolate

emily
when along came a deer

the deer dipped her in chocolate (I have to please the crowd)

the deer pondered if the raspberry knew her fate

gian
the deer was very sensitive

emily
the raspberry pondered quantam physics and came to the conclusion the probability of her falling to the earth, being heavier now with cocao dripping off her every bump, was one out of one

the deer licked the chocolate off of her (I need to always make my audience happy)

because the deer was sensitive

the raspberry felt the need to giggle but had no giggle box.

when the sun went down, the raspberry went to sleep and the deer pranced around.

the end.

Try Again Next Year

No. Padma Lakshmi is in Roberto Cavalli and I want to punch them both. She has a bodacious body but the top is just nasty on that dress. I don't like the color on her. Failfailfail.