I want to write a book so badly

that I think about it all the time.
this year just once, i want to write a voice lesson for penglase that is stunning. one day i want to write something well written, even publishable.
writing, english, or literature classes i will take, but i am not going to be an author as an occupation.
the book may not be written until i retire.
the thing is is that i want to be good enough to create ambiguous multi-faceted characters.
a bouquet of people, a slice of life.
i want it to have more than one theme; philosphies i've learned in my own life the hard way.
i want people to read it and feel.
i want to say something strange, like how Jane Smiley describes the Buick as "swimming."
i want to cause people to think about what i wrote.
i want them to agree with it, and argue it.
this work will be complex: the characters, the themes, even the style.
like how some people argue Willa Cather was a romantic or a realist when really shes a beautiful complex of both.
stunning, sophisticated, intelligent.
i want future generations to see it as part of my society.
i get so excited about this god damn book, and i don't even have the experience to say what it will be about or anything.
but maybe that's not where to start, and i hope in years you will read it.