Occupy

      A big change with me lately is how I occupy my time. I spend less time online and less time alone with boys. I spend more time with Angie: shopping, going out, sitting in bookstores, chilling. I spend more time watching TV and talking about shows. I like it. I'm more outdoorsy in the summer; I hope that with me wanting to be online less will make me go outside more. I'm super bummed that tyler g. invited me to go snowboarding friday and I can't afford it. For some reason I can get over him being douchey if I just watch my shit. We had a heart to heart once and maybe there will be more. I like being one of the boys because you can goof around. Who am I kidding though, I can be a real girl most the time anyways. I like balance.

     Speaking of balance, I try balancing between friends you know you knoww. The other day future roommate commented on my Atheism and I said nothing. I feel embarassed that I didn't stick up for myself. Maybe I should let her think I'll become a Christian (this is her prophecy-- that in 4y I'll be a faithful person) Now honey, there's a biiiig difference between having morals and having faith. For me, faith isn't worth shit. If you want to be a good person, you have to choose your values and stick to it, unless you value complexity and choose your values situationaly. I don't even know who I am yet. I think who you are is based on your morals, lack of them, or complexity of them. I like the idea of being complex, but my mind thinks in terms of black and white. Maybe I'm too young to see things many ways because I know forsure my insight is not 20/20 and I'm working on it.