Visions and Glimpses

25.5.10

are you relieved that they know now?

no, i didn't care that i was lying. i didn't care they didn't know. i had told myself i'd tell them eventually. there's a contrast. i am very angry how they found out (malicious intention) but i am very happy i didn't have to be the one to tell them. i'm not going to tell the story of how my parents found out about gian, because i think i will remember it. it's a pretty entertaining story perhaps.

24.5.10

that makes me happy = "das macht mich glucklich"

22.5.10

FWD: Well on days I don't work I'd drive you to gbh. You'd get to watch rehearsals. I'd stay in as much as possible. We'd cook together. I'd take you to fam din

17.5.10

It's called Visions and Glimpses so you can look into the normal life I lead. I feel like my life isn't normal, like I am unique. Really to you though, I am not. It's weird that way. You probably think you are unique too. Do you ever try to separate your thoughts from you culture? Everything you do every day seems normal, but try thinking "I have never seen, smelled, or tasted ketchup." and ketchup becomes strange and pretty gross.

8.5.10

I really reccomend the book The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien

LeClair carries, in his helmet, some sentimental things. In his helmet is his grandfather's zippo lighter from when he was in the Airforce. Along with the zippo is a picture of LeClair's nephews, a piece of a bullet, and a phone number. The fragmented metal which was once part of a bullet is part of the bullet that almost killed LeClair. It also earned him his Purple Heart-- he took that bullet for his comrade, Shrum. The phone number, well it's my phone number. He lost it twice or more, so now it's in a safe place.

I carry pretty superficial things with me, my phone is almost always right in my hand, honestly there are usually two pairs of sunglasses in my purse or car. But in my phone are a few very sentimental text messages. They are from LeClair. I've kept the messages of what he carries, one wishing me a better day, and one wishing me luck on my musical. LeClair carries sentimental things in his helmet, which is fitting. He also has to carry about fifty pounds of all the other stuff a Ranger needs in the desert or wherever they send him. Even though he has so much on his back, he still wishes me a better tomorrow.

"I have my grandfathers zippo from when he was in the Airforce, a picture of my nephews, a picture of me with my dad after i tabbed out
i have a piece of the bullet fragment that almost killed me in there too
haha i even wrote your number in there so i wont lose it again"

5.5.10

I told another story today about a sensitive lemon, a deer, steve, gabe, dylan thomas, a fruit fly, and a street car named desire.

Ms. Penglase,
Thank you so much for the postcard! It finally arrived at its destination a week later than the date on top, wow, Milwaukee is further than I remember..
A giant "ditto" to the great two years we've been teacher and student together. It's hard to say whether I took the class because I liked what I was exposed to in junior English or if it was because you're a great teacher. I just remember my freshman year English teacher who just wrote "Good job" on all of our Romeo and Juliet papers, and once told me "you sound more like you're writing for a trashy celebrity tabloid" (luckily she was not a permanent fixture in the department). What I will remember most about Lit (well ok there's still some left) is actually learning for sure what feminism is. I always have had a backbone and resented my mother's selfless embrace of the housewife mentality and lifestyle, but I never had been knowingly exposed to feminist literature or ideas. So thank you again for the postcard but more importantly for everything that I will remember from English.
Sincerely,
Em

4.5.10

The Raspberry Who Couldn't Giggle and the Sensitive Deer

emily
Once upon a time

there was a little raspberry

she was chillin' on the vine thing, bush.

gian
who was dipped in chocolate

emily
when along came a deer

the deer dipped her in chocolate (I have to please the crowd)

the deer pondered if the raspberry knew her fate

gian
the deer was very sensitive

emily
the raspberry pondered quantam physics and came to the conclusion the probability of her falling to the earth, being heavier now with cocao dripping off her every bump, was one out of one

the deer licked the chocolate off of her (I need to always make my audience happy)

because the deer was sensitive

the raspberry felt the need to giggle but had no giggle box.

when the sun went down, the raspberry went to sleep and the deer pranced around.

the end.

Try Again Next Year

No. Padma Lakshmi is in Roberto Cavalli and I want to punch them both. She has a bodacious body but the top is just nasty on that dress. I don't like the color on her. Failfailfail.

3.5.10

visit

I will now list whatever places, either countries, vague, or specific places that i want to visit
and why.

Mexico City, Mexico- It's not a resort, they have the native ruins and the market.

Egypt- In Egypt I want to visit a tomb and see the pyramids and the nile, and of course wear a head scarf and smoke a hookah.

Germany- Drink beer, party at Oktoberfest, visit the Berlin Wall, what is left of it.

St. Petersburg, Russia- see the architecture and buy either a fur hat or a Stalin trinket (they have markets with Stalin and Lenin stuff..)

Japan- I want to visit Tokyo and maybe some rural parts and try the strange food

Kenya- This is a safer part of Africa right now. I want to safari and play the drums. I want to meet the people.

The Great Wall of China- it's really great.

Thailand- FOOD. Possible destination, Puckett. They have a good amount of Buddhists and I want to experience all of that.

India- food, Gandhi, music, Taj Mahal

Chile- Alpacas and Incas

love

Acorn, for mac

ACORN

1.5.10

i want to copy this outfit really badly

30.4.10

29.4.10

I miss Buddhism

28.4.10

I want more more more!

27.4.10

22.4.10

I feel bad

my memory causes me to hurt others' feelings
like my roomate Lauren's bc she didn't know that I
virtually forget everything instantly and remember it hours later.
booooooo

Dreams assignment for choir

I am apart from the chaos but I have been effected by it. I’m in what I think is Milwaukee but there is fear, fire, and all the buildings and roads look like they’ve been bombed. There are helicopters and guns and soldiers stalking the ground. A car comes and picks me up, the drivers are Krista and Josh only aged. There are several kids in the back seats. I am happy now to be with them in the Jeep type car but people start asking us to get in the car but there is no room. It’s as if there is a war right here in Wisconsin, like it’s the future and the wars in the east have blown up into this gigantic world war. I feel safe in the car but all innocence of the world is gone anyways so I also feel intense dread. This is the first and only dream I’ve had like this but my nightmares always involve cars.

Truth =?= Fact

My Myers psychology textbook defines informational social influence as influence
resulting from one's acceptance of others' opionions about reality opinion of reality.
Opinion.
Reality.

I'm shocked that I can't argue that. What reality is is just my opinion.
Truth is opinion. This is human capacity. We're as complex as we are while
we also lack definite anything. Is it just us or the whole universe?
I'm writing to figure this out. Are we too simple to see like real truth or
is there no truth but what we believe is true? If you're lost, I'm very sorry.

To try to clarify I'm talking two truths:
something true that we may or may not believe is the first.
The second: our own opinion truth which becomes a truth bc of our belief in it.

What I really wanted to get at though is

Is it tragic or beautiful that all of existence
is fact but we can only comprehend our own opinion
of it?
I argue that it is romantic to believe this a beautiful thing. In reality our own truths get
us in trouble. However, without this trouble there becomes less of a reason to exist. I'm not
saying we HAVE a reason but if we already knew the truth we'd get bored.