Best feeling of my life.

You know what sucks? I`m trying to abandon any intrest in the girls` gossip about everyone and now I feel like they have nothing to say to me.

Shoes yay underwear showing not yay

To be fucking really honest

I try to find people to fill the missing piece that even you couldnt feel.
I hate myself for this in a way although I'm not doing anything wrong.

Let's Get it Together

When you come to a time you hate musical theatre, you need to remember that when you hear that applause it will all be worth it. The smelly freshmen, the messy dressing room, bitches, complainers, empty stomachs, forgotten lines, late entrances... I am going to pull it together and make this show fucking rock.

 

Mary Kate Wore it better; however, I would wear Ashley's. I know which is which, do you? Take a guess and comment

Renee Zellweger

Musical is taking over my life, and it's causing too much of a good thing.  I hope that lessens.  In face, when musical is over.. wow.  I will have all this time to just do stuff.  Study.

I am now listening to Michelle Obama's interview with Mike Huckabee.  I love this woman.  An interesting point made was that her family is facing criticism in this heated political time by bloggers who are "cowardly"





I forgot my point after I attempted embedding that video.  I just want to say I love Michelle but her husband and I have beef.  I'm kinda mad that LeClair is back in Afghanistan and that there are going to be more troops sent to Iraq very soon.  In some ways, this is a war of attrition.  Moreover, my anger comes from the State of the Union speech-- I am angry Obama proclaimed he was going to pull troops out.  What is the point of saying something like that?  You cant address what you might do and make it sound solid.  You cannot  say something hopeful just to fill space.

It's all just filling space.  Who knows what is going on?  Since we must do what is necessary instead of keeping our word, then dont make a promise to start.  Maybe I'll make that a life lesson for myself.

I just want everything to be all right.  For me, for my friends, and on a global scale.

I debated joining the military, but I just don't have good instinct or common sense.  Yes, they teach you everything you need to know out there in the world of military duty, but Darwinism would knock me out in a heartbeat.  I decided to live vicariously through my soldier friend LeClair, he let me choose for him to go to Japan.  And I'll just make sure I travel a lot to make up for what  I missed in that part of the job.

I mentioned my roomate pressuring religion once, and she has now recently more than once brought up the fact that I do not want children.

I know very well that I may grow up and some experience I have may change me to want a child, but I am not going to want a child just because my roomate says it's just the natural order of things. The natural order of things is very nice, but who am I to confine myself to that. I cant even do my own laundry yet and I dread children. Maybe it is because I still have fun acting like a child that makes me not want one. That may be so but I can name handfuls of parents that I would be much better than. My spawn would be fucking smart. But who the fuck cares? I'm still a teenager. I just like planning my life, just so I can make good decisions and feel secure. I have back up plans and wiggle room. I love Lauren very much, but how much of this will I  have to put up with?

My voice is crumbling, as are my morals and my discrimination. My schedule is full yet I can't do enough. I wish I could find an outfit to buy that I liked and that was stylish. I started actually reading my textbooks again. Yay (:

Sexual Tension

RIP ALEXANDER McQUEEN

Wow, I just posted his add yesterday, and this morning  I recieved news of his suicide. His mother recently died and he had a line launch today, which was canceled. Alexander McQueen designed for big stars like Lady Gaga.  Between 1996 and 2003 he won the title "British Designer of the Year" four times.

Prom Dress Dream List

 

Scratch that. I just want to look exactly like the red head Christina Hendricks. Damn!

Hills Like White Elephants

So despite my giving up on quality school work until musical is over, I got a 3.695 gpa. I'm super proud. I went up from the 90's to the 70's in class rank.

I'm not overwhelmed with tiredness anymore, as I was up until a few weeks ago. I'm still stressed but at least I'm not worried about depression. Scary shit. I need to stop eating snacks at musical though.

Angie and I haven't talked much this week, idk why. Sometimes we get too mucho of eachother and we need breaks. Bdubs thurs so yay! What the hell day is it?

Wow. I hate this post. I really dont have anything to write about.

I'm loving Hemingway. We read a section of In Our Time called "Big Two-Hearted River" and we also read Hills Like White Elephants. Damn, I hate inferring. I'm happy when I'm right and satisfied when i find out what this guy was saying. I'm really enraged at this Hills story though. I was right when I read it. He wants her to get an abortion, the elephants are like the breasts when you get preg or like the baby bump itself blah blah. Sexist/feminist themes get me soo fired up. I don't know what to think. The guy in the story is a supreme asshole. Plus it's the 20's so she'll probably die in the abortion. I also get really fired up when people aren't living the lives they want. Sometimes things are too complex to change, but I feel like if she wanted to settle down she could get out of her abusive relationship. I feel for her though. She's only a girl.

I'm only a girl, too. Only, I don't want to settle down.  I want to try things and meet all sorts of people. I really like hearing stories, and listening.  I like talking to people who have plans. I like drinking shit coffee and being with fun people. I realized the idea of getting intoxicated sounds like more chances for me to make mistakes. I don't know, just something I realized lately. I also realized how much I've learned since October; and how much I am exactly the same since sophmore year.

I recently re read notes I wrote in October. I hated ex, I loved lace, and I wanted to go to Mexico. I had just "come out" as an Atheist. I had just started senior year and used Bobby to go to the Homecoming festivities I wanted to go to. I've changed so much because I was into bows and I didn't know what I wanted.

I have been partnered up with an ex best friend for Psychology; we have to do a study on smell and taste. She stopped talking to me during the beginning of junior year and it hurt my feelings tons. All I had was Tyler, then Angie too. But guess what, it was mostly Tyler. Damn. Shelby hasn't changed, and I realized... so haven't I. If she stopped talking for the reason I think, we couldn't be friends ever again.

I've actually had my own drama instead of sitting watching others. Theres two more bitches hating on me, I've been a bitch to someone, and thats about all  I care to divulge. I deleted my myspace. Sorry, Leslie. It felt against the rules to talk to you anyway.

I've become addicted to the news and the war. This war is fucking bullshit. And Obama does not know what he is doing. LeClair tells me his stories from being in Iraq and Afghanistan. It was brutal. I can't imagine the courage it takes to be in the military. I've become very patriotic and I wish my gramps were around. He was fucking awesome. I guess if youre a lieutenant colonel people have to stand up when you walk in the room. That's my def of BA. I'm not glorifying war, I'm glorifying the people who go out there for us. Jsyk. I'm like the only one who says the pledge in the morning. It's important. We live in America and the pledge just reminds me of that every morning at 7:26am. I like it when Lauren says the pledge. I'm so excited to get close with her and Kyle too.