Subject: UWO Scholarship To: emilyespresso@live.com

Hi, Emily - I just wanted to be in touch to congratulate you on your music scholarship award for the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh.  We were impressed with your vocal audition and heard much potential for growth - you have an impressive instrument and we are hopeful you will accept the award and join us on campus next fall! Please let me know if I can be of any assistance as you make your final decisions. I would welcome the opportunity to be persuasive - thank you.  Ms. Andrews

Professor Joyce Andrews
Music Department
University of Wisconsin Oshkosh
800 Algoma Blvd.
Oshkosh, WI 54901
(920) 424-4224

Emily,

      Gosh – where to begin?  First of all, I thought you sounded angelic last night.  Your voice absolutely soared, and I looked forward to you singing every time (especially after I knew you had worked out the kinks!)  I think that with the right state of mind, a healthy dose of determination, and the willingness to work harder than you have ever worked before you will be a successful performance major.  I say all of that because I believe you already have the instrument.  Will you refine and make it better?  Ohhhh yeah… but… I believe you really are talented.  Just remember that this major will not be a walk in the park.  If it ever feels that way, just remember to give yourself a very swift kick – QUICKLY – before you settle in on the wrong path.

     Emily, I hope that you are finding ways to pick up your grades.  I am sorry to hear how you have been doing.  Here is the thing – it is never too late to turn things around.  Make a decision that you are going to make 4^th quarter your finest.  Do it for yourself.  Do it to ready yourself for what is coming in the fall.  I know you can do it, Emily.  Just buckle down and work hard.  You are NOT a failure.  You are an outstanding human being with capabilities far beyond what you are able to comprehend.

     With all sincerity, let’s make this last quarter our best time together in choir.  It will mean that we all will have to lift ourselves to a higher plain on a daily basis, but I believe we are capable.  If we succeed, we will remember it forever.  You are fortunate to be part of a wonderful senior class.  Let’s finish it in a memorable way.

I want to make my own cover of this, but I might raise it like a fifth and make it more melodic. yay.

September 17, 2009 - Thursday

my own advise to myself Well, you seem to be able to reward yourself for writing your papers Keep that up, since it makes it interesting. This whole year you will regret taking AP Lit but think of it as your brain being fat and needing a personal trainer to get it ready for the marathon which is college. I have no idea why you took these AP classes, but there weren't any other classes that looked intellectual really. So just keep telling yourself you are smart, because in the end you are smart just don't compare yourself to your peers it's a waste of time.     I WAS BEING SUPER WISE WHEN I WROTE THIS. I wanna hug me.

RE: 10.12.09 CRITERIA

Must be in college. (or out? how old do I date?)

Not just button downs, not just AE.

Not a virgin.

Employed.

Doesn't eat a lot. but likes asian food and taco bell and shrimp.Edit: He likes shrimp.

One tattoo, less than 20 tattoos.
Less than 4 piercings. Depending on what.

Has one or more in common with me:

-Clingy 

Edit: this word is kinda negative but see above that it is in common with me. aaaand this guy has a busy life so yay.

-Musical

-Similar literature or art tastes

If this doesn't exist, I will either settle or become a fish lady. (Allergic to cats)
What do I do if I missed being loved?

Circa '08

im spinning around in a world of color, patterns, cafes, music and love. i never make sense to myself, or for that matter others. i love hearing beautiful sounds, and listening to experimental music, too. i'm eclectic in that i'm either being wild and unpredictable, or i can be toned down at times as well. i love keys and old jewlery, and antiques like bathtubs, bottles, and teacups. i like trying on different styles, but i'm not fake. you'll never see me without sunglasses, and i love being with my mom, my fiance, & my best friend. my grandma dorothy is my inspiration, i lead a life much like hers. go vegetarian, it's the best descision ever!

I really considered this but I've concluded

that I would not have what it takes to be in the Army. They called me today to recruit me and I wanted to jump right in, but then I gave it more thought and I would like to be away from home but I want to be able to go back when ever I want. I am very crabby and stubborn too. It's a big choice and I think I need to go to school now, even if it would be free later.

I don't know what to do

except wait. wait wait wait.
The thing about waiting is that
Sometimes it's a risk.

Gold may be my favorite color I think. But then again this red below is breathtaking. My Euro class wants to make a guillotine. And this soldier dude is in Kandahar which is where LeClair was the last time he was able to tell me where he was.

Reality vs. Politeness

 "They = Friends"

I am offended by people who assume 
boy + girl = dating

But I'm also discovering 
it is ok to be someone's girlfriend



Just remember, to assume is to make an ass of u + me



"They > Friends" 
 

I told everyone this dream, but I'ma blog it for me. "The Aardvark"

 I dreamed he and I were dating and wanted to get a pet to share so we went to a store where you could adopt a puppy. The dream started with us walking out of the door with an aardvark, trying to name him something ironic or funny. Gian said Rare Breed and it sounded awkward and funny so I instantly agreed and laughed. The aardvark was the size of a small puppy and was wearing a blue teeshirt. <3
 We crossed the street to the outskirts of a park in Milwaukee with tall skinny trees. On the corner was a newspaper vending box and Rare Breed was chillin over there and Gian asked me to call RB to see if he [instantly] knew his name. I called with a smile on my face, only for Rare Breed to become a biiig mastiff and attack my face.

D:

I can't put Saturday into words

e: I dont want to feel something I can't analyze

gian: I dont want to analyze something I don't feel

I went for a stroll

and the stroll made me happy.
I want freckles as soon as possible.
Walking in the sun may cause freckles.
Therefore, happiness.

HYPOTHETICALLY

   Mr Wanner, bless his heart, was feeling ill all day. It must have gotten serious bc we are encouraged to come to chamber sick, but Wanner was too sick to have chamber choir tonight (typically from 6/6:30-8:10) In my grounded state I knew it would be an ass-kissing effort to ask to go to the chamber impromptu picnic soooo.... I just didn't tell my parents chamber was canceled. Chamber is every single Monday so I wasn't even losing any typical time. I'm getting the feeling Angie is avoiding me, but I digress. She hadn't texted me about dinner tonight so I said we should pick up a meal Thursday and catch up. (It's really bothering me her space lately, but one could argue I began the space) I didn't want home food or picnic snacks... I wanted pizza. I also knew last week Monday Gian wanted to meet up... So it just worked for me to ask him to Edwardo's. It's my favorite pizza place so far, but I don't get out much. It's a straight shot down hwy 100 for me, kinda far but prob an equal drive for both of us. I wish I could go downtown, but that intimidates me. I'm not the best driver.
  It's so nice to talk to someone who likes (I assume) what I have to say. I'm just completing a major milestone in social development of finding my identity, so it's great to know someone to talk to who isn't caught up in high school drama. I'm fine with all of my maybe like 2 closest friends' drama, but it's everyone ELSES that just is too much for me. (Lunch today: Alex vs Krista and Lauren speculating the relationship between Mer and all of them and some who were not there; both parties were right and should just shut up) I wana get to real stuff. Or just stuff like The Clash and cartoons, pot, college, scandal, poodle/bulldog mixed people.. haha. Anything but "he said she said"
  Plus I had Canadian bacon for like the 1st time in 6y! I've been missing NYC lately, which is weird because I spent 4 days there in my life total. Like, a year ago too. I wonder if I could last in a city.. Maybe after college I'll try but it's super expensive. I like when people talk about meeting nice people on a bus.

I think I have nothing interesting to say to Angie so she doesn't want to hang out with me? Last year we cycled through being close and not so it's not a big deal I just hope she doesn't hate me. We're both stressed I guess.

And nothing separates you from people like parents. Nothing.

After pizza I raced to Manchester Park by the apts and the Library. It was fucking freezing (My fault for not bringing a coat) but I'm tough so I stayed. Logan, Alyssa, Connor, and Josh were also there as well as the chamber kiddos. I love those kids, all of 'em. I wish I showed it more but I'm bad at that! Maybe some of them will realize it wasn't cold for me bc I had great company. I know I just spat shit about high school but I'm just as bad as any other kid ages 14-18. I hope more picnics happen in the future.

It's so beautiful out but I don't know what to do

I can't tell anybody

Because they've all heard the same story.

ANNOUNCEMENT: EMILY IS NOW A BLUGOLD

This is the typical story about how a little girl became confused. Developmental psychologists might tell you how she is at a crisis stage of life. tbc..

Mrs. Penglase's Research Paper Makes Me Feel Like Shit.

She actually reads it, unlike my Euro teacher..

She looked at my outline and had nothing to say. That means it's shit.

I had something I wanted to say, but I forgot

So instead you get nonsense
I dislike angry people
Texas
Cold gusts of wind
And mean customers.

I am sometimes
'too' carefree and i don't show it
I believe in love but I reject it
I'm too nice and at the same time too bitchy

Lately I am caged
like a wife or a tiger or a bird
I am easily scared
easily happy in the sun

wish i had skills in guitar

feel alive

That part of me is coming out

Who knows

Perhaps now I have a happy medium.

I think I just saw a face but I go to voice lessons on Sunday and I cant be late.

The tee shirt that reminds our friends of angie and emily

I'm glad in my imprisoned state they remember me

Piaget's Stages in Muskego's Elementary Schools

             

   At Muskego Elementary, we read to the second graders, many of whom were in the earlier concrete operational stage. The pre-operational stage generally is reached by children in their 6th and 7th years, and the age range we heard from these children was 6-8 years old. What sets pre-operational kids apart from concrete operational kids is that pre-operational kids will believe that a high schooler dressed up as the Cat in the Hat is the real Cat in the Hat, and concrete operational kids know that it is a person in a costume. Almost immediately as the high schooler in a Cat in the Hat costume walked in, a boy exclaimed “He is not the real Cat!” and his classmates agreed with him. This shows that the students could think logically about the Cat, which was a concrete thing. Another clue to show us they were in the concrete operational stage was their answers when we asked them what the moral to the story was. They could not think of a more universal, abstract moral, but they could think of a more specific moral, “Try something new, try green eggs and ham!” 

            The kindergarteners at Country Meadows displayed pre-operational stage traits. They were the appropriate pre-operational age of 5-6 years old. They use words but not logic, such as one boy who said “My birthday is the day after today!” to which I asked if it was tomorrow and he said, “No, before this day.” He meant his birthday was yesterday. The language is still developing at this stage but logic doesn’t exist. Pre-operational children will believe that a high school student dressed up as the Cat in the Hat is the real Cat in the Hat. They were very excited to see the Cat when he or she visited. One girl exclaimed “He is real!” as everything kids say seems to be said with many exclamation points after it. Her fellow kindergarteners agreed with her. Piaget’s pre-operational stage is also the stage at which children exhibit the greatest make-believe and exercise their imagination. When reading Fox in Sox the reader asked if any kids had ever seen a knox, a fictional character made up by Dr. Seuss. One boy told us a story about one time when he was in his back yard he saw a knox and it was chasing deer. When it saw him, according to this boy, the knox got scared and ran away.

2009 Produced My Four Favorite Movies

Nonsense (:

Operation: Mail Lil Wayne a Letter

1. Target's real name: Dwayne Micheal Carter, Jr.
2. Objective: mail him a letter and a warm Taco Bell Caramel Apple Empanada
3. Location: exact, unknown
1. Rikers Island, NY 
2. there are 10 jails on this island
4.  Method: 
1. Write each correctional facility a letter addressed to Dwayne Carter Jr with a return label
2. Send
3. Correctional facilities that do not hold Lil Wayne will 'return to sender'
4. The one we do not get a letter back from is our locale
5. make the real card- valentine style with gitter
6. mail an empanada
7. Operation Success
8. Debriefing and Reward preferably the debriefing of lil wayne if you know what i mean.
5. Angie and Emily are the persons on the job, Target is not expecting this kindness.

Caroussel by Bonzeland

HAPPY

unique models photo by reuters

RE: 2.3.10 8:02pm

Today I drove past an old house I used to spend a lot of time at. It reminded me that I used to be a stupid kid who smoked and only hung out in her boyfriend's bed. Then I realized he moved on super fast and I felt really insignificant for not having a boyfriend.



Those feelings are such bull shit!

Sometimes I really want a boyfriend but it's the same as ice cream: I've had some before and I don't need it. Just because my bank is by Ferch's doesn't mean I should get a child size scoop. I can't just live my life indulging. A boyfriend would waste my time maybe I don't know what I'm talking about, maybe I do

Love the argyle [and I usually hate argyle] but the belt is disgusting.

I'm wondering who you are

hi reader. wana email me? ok cool. i was wondering what you think, or what advise you could give me. emilyespresso@live.com

this shirt is what i wear when i dont give a fuck anymore i want the musical back

Germany has the best romantic art.

..how I feel after chamber choir tonight

Media

So, I was super worried all day about LeClair. He's one of my favorite friends and I miss him a lot. When I got a news tweet saying 6 dead from blast in Kandahar I felt really sad all day. I couldn't access the internet to read the link. To my understanding no Americans died, as I found out after reading the article. Maybe I should send him a letter or something. Haven't heard from him since he wished me luck on musical for a 034958-04985th time. He calls me Babe but really I feel like his little sister and maybe he's the only unmarried soldier he's around. Death just freaks me out. It's not what happens after, its not seeing them again. I have letters LeClair doesn't have. I never got to say goodbye to my grandma but all the adults could. But he is alive, I haven't heard from him but I'm pretty sure maybe there would be news if the operation was going badly. People die every second.

FWD: comradeyerik: I gotta Babe sorry ill talk to you when i can good luck with your Musical Later Beautiful (LeClair is like my bro I never had)

where LeClair is. Reuters: Two blasts hit Afghanistan's Kandahar, six dead http://link.reuters.com/fef92j